What I want to say, I can't say. And what I don't need to say, I know perfectly well how to say it.

The glitter is starting to fade…I still love it here, but eventually the new-ness and wonder of it all has to wear off. And for me that happened today.

My grammar class is really making me question my abilities. I understand pretty much everything she says, but I am quickly realizing that my grammar and vocabulary are nowhere near what they should be for someone who has spoken the language for so long. The professor says I need to talk to Spaniards, and that is the point of difficulty for me right now. I live with an American roommate, my señora and her “companion” cleaning lady don’t really talk that much, and I don’t really enjoy talking with my señora that much because all she wants to talk about is either how good and nutritious the food is for you or how much she loves Obama or how the whole world needs to model itself after Spain. Haha I anticipate getting connected with Spaniards in the next few weeks in my service learning class and with an “intercambio” which is like an “assigned friend” that wants to learn English, and you help each other with your prospective languages. I also might get involved in a Bible study every once in a while through the Universidad de Sevilla, and that’s something I REALLY want to do, but I don’t know if I’ll have enough time and I don’t want to overload myself. Until all those things happen though, I have to talk to Spaniards elsewhere, like in stores or restaurants, which requires me to be very outgoing (here in Spain, you don’t just go up to people you don’t know….that’s a cultural no-no). I am praying for a spirit of adventure and boldness so I can better my Spanish, and I ask you to pray for that as well.

Now that I’ve been here for a week and am required to speak Spanish pretty much all the time when I’m with the other students, I’m getting frustrated. I’m trying to make friends and be myself. However, I have the vocabulary of roughly a 6 year old child. I am an intelligent, funny human being that has a lot to offer. I just can’t express any of it in Spanish. I think that is the most frustrating thing of all. I’m trying to be myself, but so much of who I am is intricately tied to the language I speak, and when I’m speaking another language I can’t really be the real me yet.

Just got done with dinner. Lisa and I more or less succeeded tonight with avoiding them making us eat so much. We just said “no” and stuck to our guns, and tonight they weren’t able to shove food down our throats like they did at lunch. So perhaps we’ll exercise this tactic more often. Oh, and we went out for ice cream tonight. Thinking I wanted it in a cup and not a cone, I asked for it in a “copa” which seems to be the word in this region for cup. I received a giant goblet full of ice cream, and while it was delectable, I was absolutely stuffed by the time I left, having still been full from our enormous lunch. After ice cream, we went to our first “Encuentro” which is the worship gathering the school puts on every Wednesday.

Yesterday night was girls’ night out…aka Noche de Chicas, a program the school hosted. We met up at the school and ate chocolate and talked about feelings and all the things girls do. Then we went paddleboating on the river. It was so much fun! I didn’t take my camera, but Lisa did, so I stole her photos. haha

Well, I’m getting ready for bed now, but I wanted to post an update. I tried to upload photos of Noche de Chicas and the ice cream, but the uploader for the blog isn't working right now. But I did post them to the facebook album, so just use the link I posted in earlier entries or go to my facebook page to see them. They're like the last 6 photos or so in the album. :-)

Goodnight!