I received this email today from a scholarship committee I applied to in March!
Praise the Lord, for He is providing for my study abroad a little at a time!!
"Dear Ms Wiggins,
The Scholarship Committee of Phi Sigma Iota has met and reviewed thescholarship applications we received this year. I am pleased to tell youthat we were impressed by your application, by your proposal, and by yourletters of recommendation. We are happy to award you the Dr. Cleon CapsusScholarship in the sum of $1,000.
We wish you well in the work that you will undertake with this scholarshipmoney and ask that upon your return to the United States, you write us abrief report telling us the effects that your stay abroad have had on you,both personally and professionally. We also ask you to bear in mind thatPhi Sigma Iota has helped you in your career, and that you in turn promotethe interests of the Society, so that others may have the same opportunityyou are now enjoying.
Sincerely yours,
Phillip Wolfe, Second Vice-President
Phi Sigma Iota
For the scholarship committee"
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Walking on Water
A couple weeks ago, a speaker in chapel prayed and talked about how it's so easy during this time of year to start looking around at the wind and waves, and we begin to sink. It's only when we lock eyes with our Lord and focus on his gaze that we can keep going. And it only takes a little thing, and we're back frantically looking around and floundering once again.
I'm really good at this whole "get distracted, sink and flounder" routine. I'm a planner: where am I going, what will I be doing, who will I be with, what will it be like.... It's so easy to rely on my plans, and to embrace the security they seem to offer. Then, when things don't work out at all as I planned, I realize my repeat offense and my eyes snap up to meet the gaze of my master. And how marvelous and wonderful it is that those eyes are always filled with love, care, and concern, never shaming.
This weekend I watched Fireproof again, and one of the lines struck me a little differently than it has in the past. "How can I show love over and over to someone who constantly rejects me?" My wandering heart....oh, my wandering heart. I have rejected God, and flaunted that rejection back in his face. Now that I am running hard after him again, I can't believe that he would embrace me after the hurt I've caused him. It amazes me beyond the slightest comprehension that he still calls me his beloved.
Is that kind of love even possible? I look at my brother and his wife, and it gives me hope. But I really wonder if I could ever be loved in a Christ-honoring relationship. I can imagine it in my mind, but my heart doesn't believe it, though I desperately want to believe it. I don't know how to start believing it, but the best solution I can think of is to keep my eyes locked into his, into that incomprehensible, encompassing love. If only I can keep my selfish, wandering heart centered on him...
I'm really good at this whole "get distracted, sink and flounder" routine. I'm a planner: where am I going, what will I be doing, who will I be with, what will it be like.... It's so easy to rely on my plans, and to embrace the security they seem to offer. Then, when things don't work out at all as I planned, I realize my repeat offense and my eyes snap up to meet the gaze of my master. And how marvelous and wonderful it is that those eyes are always filled with love, care, and concern, never shaming.
This weekend I watched Fireproof again, and one of the lines struck me a little differently than it has in the past. "How can I show love over and over to someone who constantly rejects me?" My wandering heart....oh, my wandering heart. I have rejected God, and flaunted that rejection back in his face. Now that I am running hard after him again, I can't believe that he would embrace me after the hurt I've caused him. It amazes me beyond the slightest comprehension that he still calls me his beloved.
Is that kind of love even possible? I look at my brother and his wife, and it gives me hope. But I really wonder if I could ever be loved in a Christ-honoring relationship. I can imagine it in my mind, but my heart doesn't believe it, though I desperately want to believe it. I don't know how to start believing it, but the best solution I can think of is to keep my eyes locked into his, into that incomprehensible, encompassing love. If only I can keep my selfish, wandering heart centered on him...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The Lord is Faithful!
God is so faithful!
After my relationship with Scott ended a little over a year ago, it was a difficult few months for me. I finally got over it and was getting back on my feet when he called me over Christmas break and again over spring break and expressed that he thought he may still have feelings for me. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, and my mixed feelings taunted me. On one hand, the woman in me enjoyed the prospect of being pursued once again. However, the larger part of me knew that he was not the man I wanted in my life, and I struggled between my selfish desire to be romanced and the greater calling that the Lord had placed on my heart.
The situation had kind of fizzled over the past month, which confirmed all the more in my heart that I needed to tell Scott that I didn't want to pursue anything. The Lord provided me with the courage when my brother called me Sunday night and flat-out asked me my feelings about him. I stated my case for not wanting to go any further with Scott, with the biggest reason being that I know I want a strong man of Christ in my life who matches my personality better than he did. Well, God knew I needed this prodding and this outlet to process my feelings verbally in preparation for the work he was about to do. The next day Scott called me, explaining that he is pursuing another woman and they are dating. I started crying, but not out of sadness. These were tears of joy, of the realization that the Lord is so faithful to answer our prayers! I have been begging the Lord for closure in this relationship, and he has given it to me and given me the grace to be joyful about it.
Praise Him for this door closed and another opened. The door has been opened to a life without this weight upon me. I am so excited for this next stage in my life, in the story that God is writing for me. Who knows, perhaps another relationship is around the corner and I'm completely clueless? Or perhaps this is a time when God has other plans for me. Regardless, I am already enjoying this new stage. Let's do this, Lord!
After my relationship with Scott ended a little over a year ago, it was a difficult few months for me. I finally got over it and was getting back on my feet when he called me over Christmas break and again over spring break and expressed that he thought he may still have feelings for me. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, and my mixed feelings taunted me. On one hand, the woman in me enjoyed the prospect of being pursued once again. However, the larger part of me knew that he was not the man I wanted in my life, and I struggled between my selfish desire to be romanced and the greater calling that the Lord had placed on my heart.
The situation had kind of fizzled over the past month, which confirmed all the more in my heart that I needed to tell Scott that I didn't want to pursue anything. The Lord provided me with the courage when my brother called me Sunday night and flat-out asked me my feelings about him. I stated my case for not wanting to go any further with Scott, with the biggest reason being that I know I want a strong man of Christ in my life who matches my personality better than he did. Well, God knew I needed this prodding and this outlet to process my feelings verbally in preparation for the work he was about to do. The next day Scott called me, explaining that he is pursuing another woman and they are dating. I started crying, but not out of sadness. These were tears of joy, of the realization that the Lord is so faithful to answer our prayers! I have been begging the Lord for closure in this relationship, and he has given it to me and given me the grace to be joyful about it.
Praise Him for this door closed and another opened. The door has been opened to a life without this weight upon me. I am so excited for this next stage in my life, in the story that God is writing for me. Who knows, perhaps another relationship is around the corner and I'm completely clueless? Or perhaps this is a time when God has other plans for me. Regardless, I am already enjoying this new stage. Let's do this, Lord!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Squeaky clean
Hello one and all!
Well, let's see...a lot has been going on. Besides classes and whatnot, I am in the process of organizing a t-shirt order for YES. My visit from my mom was a great time this past week. :-)
I just took a seat on my couch, still wrapped up in my towel from my recent shower. I'm home alone this weekend as all my roommates have gone home for Easter break. It's been an interesting time. Let me just say this: I don't do well when I'm alone.
I know beyond a doubt that God has created me as a tremendous extrovert. I have realized over the past year that my desire, dare I say need, to be with others almost constantly is not immature, nor is it a sign of lack of faith. Two years ago, I was led to believe that this was the case by a certain someone in my life, and that the loneliness I felt when I was not with other people was very unhealthy. My extroversion is a gift. Fellowship with other believers is a gift. When I am without people, I can't concentrate and I get anxious. My difficulties in being alone point out to me all the more how much my personal need for community is tied into how I relate best with God.
In light of this realization, I am a little worried. Yes, I know I shouldn't worry or be anxious in anything. But I am a sinner, and that is that. So anyway, I am a little worried about my housing situation when I return from Spain. None of my friends will be on campus, and a good number of them will be married. It is hard to find a living situation off-campus mid-year. I could live on campus, but that comes with a few complications as well. It would likely be difficult to get into the apartments in January, unless I find someone who will be leaving or who will have an extra spot available. I could fairly easily get into the dorms, but I would really only want to live in Pickitt, and I don't really want to live there that badly. And living on campus is more expensive than living off campus, but if I live off campus I would need to make sure I had a reliable car, plus I would have to pay for more gas and more groceries than if I live on-campus. Oh, Mylanta, this is complicated!! I think I will probably just live on campus when I return from Spain, but where or with who I don't know, and that bothers me. The end.
I think I will go get dressed now! Adios!
Well, let's see...a lot has been going on. Besides classes and whatnot, I am in the process of organizing a t-shirt order for YES. My visit from my mom was a great time this past week. :-)
I just took a seat on my couch, still wrapped up in my towel from my recent shower. I'm home alone this weekend as all my roommates have gone home for Easter break. It's been an interesting time. Let me just say this: I don't do well when I'm alone.
I know beyond a doubt that God has created me as a tremendous extrovert. I have realized over the past year that my desire, dare I say need, to be with others almost constantly is not immature, nor is it a sign of lack of faith. Two years ago, I was led to believe that this was the case by a certain someone in my life, and that the loneliness I felt when I was not with other people was very unhealthy. My extroversion is a gift. Fellowship with other believers is a gift. When I am without people, I can't concentrate and I get anxious. My difficulties in being alone point out to me all the more how much my personal need for community is tied into how I relate best with God.
In light of this realization, I am a little worried. Yes, I know I shouldn't worry or be anxious in anything. But I am a sinner, and that is that. So anyway, I am a little worried about my housing situation when I return from Spain. None of my friends will be on campus, and a good number of them will be married. It is hard to find a living situation off-campus mid-year. I could live on campus, but that comes with a few complications as well. It would likely be difficult to get into the apartments in January, unless I find someone who will be leaving or who will have an extra spot available. I could fairly easily get into the dorms, but I would really only want to live in Pickitt, and I don't really want to live there that badly. And living on campus is more expensive than living off campus, but if I live off campus I would need to make sure I had a reliable car, plus I would have to pay for more gas and more groceries than if I live on-campus. Oh, Mylanta, this is complicated!! I think I will probably just live on campus when I return from Spain, but where or with who I don't know, and that bothers me. The end.
I think I will go get dressed now! Adios!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
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