Thursday, May 22, 2008

The light at the end of the tunnel...

Today was my last day of my May Term class!!!!!!!!!! Tomorrow is our final exam and our final presentations, and then I am D-U-N!!!!! It will be such a relief. I was ready to be done with school about a month and a half ago.....so needless to say, this has been slightly tortuous to still be here taking classes long after everyone else went home. Oh, well. To celebrate the end of my academic year, I am going to go to the zoo tomorrow. :-) Then I'll be heading home to celebrate my brother's 30th birthday and my best friend's 20th. Whoa! Does time fly!!

Well, time to keep plugging along.....gotta get my presentation done and study like crazy!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Long Overdue...




Wow, has life been crazy since I last wrote.

My sweet and wonderful dog that I've had since I was in first grade got put to sleep at the end of April. That was very difficult for me, and I can tell it's been hard for my parents, too, because now it's just the two of them at home, most of the time just my mom. I know it must be lonely for them.

I finished the spring semester, with all A's and an A-. One of my grades is still being solidified, but things are working out.

I am now taking a May term class at Cornerstone. It's Christian theology for four hours a day for two weeks. It's a lot of information to take in, and we have our midterm on Monday, so pray for me!

Today my mom and I went shopping for stuff for my trip to Greece. I can hardly believe it's so close. We leave on June 2nd from Chicago, so my parents and I are driving down to Chi-town the night before to stay in a hotel.

Lately I've been having a hard time. Staying in this little apartment gets lonely, especially since campus is basically deserted. I normally don't journal, but I'm finding this writing thing therapeautic, so I shall continue. I've been missing him a lot the past few days. I don't know why. I can't tell whether I'm just emotional because it's that time of the month, or if it's because I'm scared for my best friend and since I can't talk to her about it, I really wish I could talk to him. I see her relationship with her new boyfriend and see it heading down the same path my last one did. Not that this past relationship was completely bad; it wasn't, and I learned many valuable things. But she's so wonderful. I don't want anyone else to hurt her like she's been hurt in the past. The guy she is with now is a definite step up from the past ones, but he's not a Christian. Which doesn't mean he's bad, but I do know what it's like to be in a relationship with someone who does not build you up and challenge you spiritually. It wears on you, and starts to show up in different ways that wear on the both of you, and things start to head downhill. It's a painful, drawn-out process that I think can be prevented with caution from the start. She says it's not a big deal to her right now that he's not a Christian because she's not worrying about marriage right now. But I've seen how my father's not being a Christian has affected my parent's relationship. It's not that they don't love each other or get along, but there is something missing...there is a tension in the spiritual area of their life together. I don't want that for her, and if the purpose of dating is to find the person you want to marry, then I think she should be worrying about it. Maybe our worldviews are just fundamentally different. I see how special and beautiful she is as a woman of God. I don't want to see her romantically involved with a guy and then fall for him. Because if the relationship progresses to the point where they start to look at marriage, then what is she going to tell him? Either she'll have to set an ultimatum, she'll have to settle, or she'll have to break it off. None of those are good options, and all of them are painful. That's why I think she (and all of us for that matter) needs to be very careful about this situation. I don't want to see her get hurt. I'm just getting over my break-up to the point where it doesn't really hurt a whole lot, but I still think about it quite a bit. I'm a very feeling person; I empathize with people very readily, especially the one's I'm close to. If she gets hurt, I'm going to feel it hard. I guess that's a selfish way of looking at it. My primary desire is that she doesn't get hurt (for her own sake). My own feelings in this are secondary. She's my best friend. We're kinda joined at the heart forever. I guess the best I can do right now, since I've already talked about it with her, is to just pray. I know that God is in control, and He is taking care of everything.


To close, these photos are the last two paintings I did. I've also included a photo of Pebbles and I taken about a week before she was put to sleep.